Closer Than a Brother

Closer Than a Brother.  What a blessing it is when one’s brother is a friend and one’s friend is a brother. It is, however, rare. Solomon hints at the same, rare dynamic of friendship and brotherhood: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). In modern parlance, we could adequately paraphrase his wisdom this way: gaining many followers ironically works against making close friends.

Did Solomon think of his own brothers when he wrote this proverb? The brothers were not buddies in David’s household, which was generationally like David’s frayed relationships with his own brothers (1 Sam. 17:28). Nearly half of Solomon’s brothers were dead before his first anniversary as monarch: Amnon (killed by his half-brother, Absalom), Chileab (never mentioned again, presumed to have died prematurely), Absalom (killed by his uncle, Joab), Adonijah (executed by his half-brother, Solomon), and Solomon’s older brother, Shimeah, who died in infancy because of David’s sin (1 Chr. 3:5),. Furthermore, Solomon was sequestered from the rest of his brothers to live in the women’s quarters while growing up for his own safety against the pernicious threat of fratricide (2 Sam. 12:25). Even doing simple math, a 50% death rate among Solomon’s brothers constitutes a royal epidemic.

Except for Andrew and Simon (Peter), James and John, Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, and occasionally Aaron and Moses, no other groups of siblings are portrayed in Scripture as being friendly toward one another. Cain killed his brother Abel. Esau vowed to kill his lying brother, Jacob. Joseph’s ten older brothers conspired to kill him but relented at the last moment and instead sold him into slavery. At times, Aaron helped his younger brother, Moses, but also sought to overthrow him in league with their sister, Miriam. David’s three eldest brothers (Eliab, Abinidab, and Shammah [Shimea]) were overtly overlooked and seemingly bore a grudge against their youngest brother. Absalom avenged the rape of his sister, Tamar, by killing her assailant, their half-brother, Amnon. Adonijah attempted to usurp Solomon’s throne and was officially executed. Many of the kings and queens of Israel and Judah were complicit in the murder of their brothers and sons within their own royal ambitions. Even in the parables, brothers are often described as contrary: the parables of the Two Sons and the Prodigal Son. Jesus’ own half-brothers not only disbelieved in him but came to collect him forcibly when they thought he was becoming a nuisance (Mark 6:3).

Yet by his gospel of grace, Jesus wiped all sibling rivalries away forever when he said, "I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God" (John 20:17). Christ forged a new brotherhood based on faith in himself and became what Solomon could only speculate, "A friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Prov. 18:24). "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).